Sunday, 10 March 2013

Day 377 & 378- The Old Man



It was more than 14 days after Taiwan before I found the courage to return to the Abandoned House. That made an entire month that I had not been there. 

I was afraid to go back because something inexplicable had happened the day I first saw the inside; something that spooked me so bad that I had thought I would never want to see that house again. 


Remember that one incredible week? The one that resulted in those amazing flowers transforming the once godforsaken facade of this house? I still cannot explain how I did what I did. I was working so long and hard that I was in a daze after a few days. In that time, I didn't even see the inside of the house or at least remember any of it. The inside was so dark and dinghy that I just wanted to stay outside all the time. 


How did I keep warm? Where did I sleep? Did I cook my food? All these questions that I could later piece the answers to only after I saw what was inside the house. 

Like this old stove.


Or the ladder that reached the window.


A portrait of an old man?

There was no doubt in my mind when I saw the portrait that this man must have been the owner and builder of this wondrous haven. You know what I mean, don't you, when you knew something purely out of instincts; something completely void of logic but you knew in your bones to be true. I knew too that  he was the artist who had painted the murals. The carpenter, the plumber, the engineer. He was the House. 


I saw the chair last and that was when I knew he was also the gardener I met 20 years ago. Chills ran down my spine and suddenly snippets of our long conversation that afternoon came rushing back at me. 

My dreams, my loves, my sanctuary. Things that should matter but which I have pushed back to such a deep, dark corner of my mind in the past 20 years that I have forgotten they were what could make me really happy. A sense of waste and deep despair came over me and I began to sob uncontrollably.

I ran then, confused and sad, never once looking back at the house. 

34 comments:

Rosamargarita said...

Oh Sans! Lo que puedo comprender es precioso, son sentimientos que harán esa casa entrañable.
Besos

Fabiola said...

I like the old stove and the chair.
Bye Faby

The Old Maid said...

Oh, go back there now! This is YOU who made the house looks pretty outside, so this means the House let You do it because You are a part of it! The Gardener couldn't choose a better person.:):)

I am still impressed by the colours you used dear Sam.:)(shhh...I have this stove in my dollshouse bathroom, but it is not so colourful of course!)
Really can't wait for more of this story!:)

And yesss I am waiting for your message.;);)

Hugs and kisses

Maria Ireland said...

I love the stove beautiful colour. Your story is wonderful but it is a little scary and sad. I am looking forward to reading more.
Hugs Maria

Norma said...

I hope you will find the courage to return - you've left us all wanting to see more!

Drora's minimundo said...

Your work, your photos, the colors you choose and your story are fantastic. Please find the courage to go back. There may come a happy end.
Hugs, Drora

Daydreamer said...

Oh, My Dear Sans! What Shadow is this that haunts you? What Dream is unfolding? What Fear is chasing you? I Must Know!!!
That Stove is DIVINE! To go with the Rocking Chair.... and the Murals, the tiles... the Flowers... the shadows... the LADDER to a window ...??? What Dream is This? And that Painting! It is Destiny! Please go back so we can see more!!!

Neomig said...

Dear Sans,
Pls go on telling us the story! Apart from the great visual ,its the words that fascinate me as well....
Best
Neomi

Ana Anselmo said...

a little bit scary....I must confess!! but magic!!!!
hugs

Sans! said...

Gracias, Rosam :). Usted es siempre un gran defensor y encantador. Estoy tan feliz de verte de nuevo :)

abrazos y besos

Sans! said...

Thank you Faby!

Sans! said...

Darling Ewalina :):). I will definitely write soon. Today was a most stressful day at work and now that it is over, I can finally breathe again! Writing this post helped me vent a little :). But for a while, I really couldn't get back to minis due to the stress.

So you have this stove too? I bought mine at the Miniature Museum of Taiwan! On my 1st trip :). Now you know what you can do with it :):). I love the details on these resin pieces but frankly, they don't usually look good in their original colours. Too plastic :).

Sans! said...

Maria Ireland, were you really scared? I was too ! I really felt chills and my hair stood ! I actually froze for a while.

I kept looking at the last picture and actually felt like it was haunted!Swear I saw the chair moved! *nervous laugh

Sans! said...

Dearest Norma, sometimes all we need is a little push from friends who care :):). Miracles happen then :).

Thank you for being one of those friends! ;)

Sans! said...

Bets, I am afraid it is a recurring nightmare! And what can be a worse nightmare than lost dreams or forsaken loves? :) Or the lack of courage to pursue happiness?

But a nudge and a gentle reminder; sometimes that's all it takes. Or the right moment, at the confluence of the forces. Who knows what beauty will unfold if we are just bold enough to take that plunge, right?

Why am I talking in riddles? Maybe you already know.

Sans! said...

Thank you Neomi! I am very comforted by your encouragements.

Sans! said...

(((((((((Ana)))))))))))))

Do you have a particular emotion you dread the most? Mine is fear :). That's why I don't really like watching horror movies by myself. teehee. I have a trick when I am at the cinema watching these movies at those scary moments like when the director is building the scary part to a crescendo. I stare at the upper right hand corner of the big screen like it is the most fascinating thing on earth. People I watch the movie with think I cannot be scared because I don't even blink..hahahaha

carmen said...

que decir...?

BiWuBär said...

Let my virtually wipe away your tears... and then get up on your feet again and go back to that beautiful house to hear it whisper to you about what's gone and what is and what can be, about all the possibilities that are still there - for example creating the most beautiful post once more. Btw - did I ever tell you you should write a book? *grin* I can see the title now: "Mr. Silhouetto and other magical stories" Sooner or later you will return to that magical house - no doubt about that. You can't help that - you have to... for yourself and for us, because we want to read more... ;O)

Hugs
Birgit

Margriet said...

This story is getting very spooky...I'm glad I like spooky ;-)
I'm sure you will return to the abandoned house...it has you in his grip and you will never be able to leave it alone....o dear...I'm starting to sound spooky too!!!

Katrina said...

how beautiful colours and scenes again. I love all. Hugs Kati

Ilona said...

Fascinating story, I want to read more of this, Sans! You are a born storyteller, dearie. What is that spooky thing behind the window above the stove, do I see nails or tiny bones, what is it???
Warm hugs, Ilona

Kim said...

Sans- I believe you should write a book. Something magical happens to the reader to hear these stories along with the pictures. A trip to your blog always has my imagination going and my daydreams start. You are good for the creative soul ♥

Ascension said...

Hola querida Sans
......yo personalmente despues de traducir tu texto......"tengo los pelos de punta!!!!" vamos que es como si hubiese vuisto un pelicula de miedo jejeje
En la segunda fotografia se ven caras o o tengo que ir al oculista??????
Uffffff, no se tu pero a mi solo me ha faltado que pusiese musica de miedo jejeje
besitos ascension

Lucille said...

Hi Sans! I just joined your blog today. The photos are so beautiful and colourful. The place has a mystical look about it. I adore that stove and the floor. I must say though that I'm confused being a newcomer. The story is so well written. Very dramatic! Although I do not know the beginning, I will strive to follow along.

Lucille said...

Hi Sans. I was just reading a few comments and your responses. Regarding fear. There's not much you can do at the movies, but when you're watching a thriller on television at home, if you turn off the sound, you will find that you won't be afraid. It's the sound that scares us, not what's happening on the screen. Try it and you'll see that it works.

I agree that fear is a horrible thing and we all fear it. It's the uncomfortable sensations that it brings to our bodies and what it does to our mind. We feel the fear but most of the time, what we feel never even happens. Still, it takes a lot of training to stop being afraid.

Lucille said...

Me again, Sans! Sorry, I meant what we "fear" and not "feel" never even happens. I detest typos. I don't mind it for other people, just for me.

Sans! said...

Welcome Lucille to my world of magic :). I am so happy to have met you and I read with interests all your comments, twice!

Firstly, if you clicked on the words "Abandoned House" on my labels (see end of posts), you will be able to read all my posts about this house.

Secondly, thank you for the tip! Maybe you and I should start a thread on "How To Watch Horror Movies Without Being Scared" teehee :).

When I read your comment, I could tell that you have had acquired the wisdom of overcoming fear :). It is so true what you said. Sometimes I wonder if "fear" is even a necessary emotion? :):)

Lucille, do you have a blog?

Sans! said...

Ascensión, espero que estabas leyendo mi historia en la noche, con las luces apagadas on.mwahahahaha .. ooooooooooh .. * sopla el viento frío ... Inicia música misteriosa .... aparecerá cara de viejo .... ¡Grita!!

Usted me recuerda de la música! Ahora Apagué mi radio virtual y tendrá que apagar en sí mismo. :)

Gracias por disfrutar de mi historia, mi amor!

Sans! said...

The sweetest things you say, Kim, they really warm my heart :). I hope to keep writing here and pray that you will want to always read them :) for what is a story without anyone to tell it to?

Sans! said...

Ilona, they are just the stems of the flowers ! teehehehehe...see? when you are scared, even flowers look scary!

But common, my story is not that scary, is it?

Although I was writing it late at night and at a point, I did feel chills running down my spines. It's the pictures.

Ahhhhhhhh, I see him in the window!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Hello Old Man! Long time no see! How have you been? " teehee

Sans! said...

Birgit, I am scared. Will you come with me? I will only go back if you guys go with me ! :):)

Sans! said...

Carmen,

No digas nada :), sólo disfrutar.

besosssssssss

Eva said...

oooooh! I have missed read posts like this one...ony you can creat this atmosphere....

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